state of mind

Now, i gotta face the truth. All i can do just sit back, try hard not to cry and learn how to let things go.
Well i guess, God already make a decision, might be change my entire life, maybe not. Depends how i face it.

One of my friend, Rei and her friend said to be able to feel the happines you gotta to letting go.

But i dont quite sure this thing i gotta let go could make me even happier.
Well actually i dont even know how to feel it. Dont quite sure to laugh at it or cry at it. Whether make a party or going to the grave.
But everythings back at me i guess.

Maybe its time to practice what i preach. Like i always said to me or to my friends, its all about state of mind.
My world is in my hands, not the others. I can rule my world anyway i like. I can make my world as my fairytale with me as the actress, me as the princess, me as the queen, even me as the bad witch.
I can make me loves him till die or just leave him like an old bad doll or just do nothing with him.
I can love him today but hate him at the next day. Sure i can. Its my world, my script, my story. Im the writer, im the director, im the artist.

I always make me remember that. But then i remember, i dont have a producer, i gotta have God to my own producer. If God didnt like my story, God will never make it happen.
And thats what i felt nowadays.
I guess God doesnt really like the story i've made.
If i dont mention it already imma tell you. My story is about to forgeting and letting someone go outta my life and i'll be a 100% fine even im stronger than before and i got my life even gorgeous than before. Thats my script. But i think it will be like this :
Im about to forgeting and letting someone go outta my life but i will not be just fine and im break down and cry till i forgot to make my life better.

But another then i remember, im just a writer now. A writer who wrote a story about my life, send it to God, wait till God read it, maybe impressed and make it happen.
But if not, i gonna print it out, stick it to my wall, read it everytime i wake up till i memorized it and make it my own mind state.

So, i think i have my own happiness formula.
'create your own state of mind'
The happier you make it the more you say it to your self the more you gotta believe it. It will creep under your skin and stick on your head to be remembered all of your life.