i just cant take it...

it should be a brand new chapter in my life
it is going to be a new beginning of a new page for my life
if im not mistaken, i should have make a new book of me nowadays
but i guess im stuck on the old one
it is feels so good on me
i just cant let it flown away
forgotten. drown. vanished.
i will never let that happen
i love the old ones
i love the people lives in my old chapter
i love him
i just cant see him flown away from here
i know i was nothing and still be nothing for ever and ever
but the problem is
he means a lot for me

crap!!!
can i just move to another town with a fucking brand new identity??
can i just leave all of behind and never look back?
can i just walk away from all of this without ever remember whats happening to me???
ah sial!
all of this shit is freaking me out. scary me to death
i even can barely look at him (you should know what i mean)
gosh... can i just cry now?

did i force my self way too much?
or i just became a lame girl?
great! now i dont even know who i am